A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a bar in Clayton England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

A man goes into a bar and see's a sign that says $200 if you can make the horse laugh! So the guy goes over to the bartender and says I can make the horse laugh. The bartender say go ahead, the guy walks over to the horse and whispers in his ear the horse starts laughing hysterically.